Conveying to Family and Friends That You Have Cancer

CONVEY- Definition: To make (something) known to someone. Merriam-Webster:

Conveying the news you have cancer to family, friends, spiritual community, neighbors, co-workers, your children's teachers, friends and families, along with acquaintances you see on a regular basis can be grueling! Here you are trying to keep it together, wrap your mind around the fact you are sick with cancer; at the same time you are holding everyone else up as you give them the heart wrenching news you have cancer.

I want to acknowledge how difficult and draining this process can be; people are at a loss what to say so they often spew out something inappropriate; my aunt had cancer and they ripped her boobs off....., what stage are you....oh you'll be fine, my neighbor has cancer and he is...! No kidding this is actually what people said to me. I refer to these responses as "Aunt Edna Stories", and I don't need them! So when someone begins to run off at the mouth, most often due to nerves, its OK to stop them, tell them this is a very scary time for you and that you are sharing this news as you need their support.

For those of you reading this who are not the cancer patient, if someone has told you they have cancer, please pause, tell them you know this is a frightening time, that you are here for them, ask or volunteer specific acts you are willing to do in order to lighten their load. Please don't ask a bunch of questions or give your long winded thoughts. Kindly keep the discussion short as it is time consuming telling everyone.  If you would please circle back around with a card, email or call offering your specific act of kindness.

The humorous side of cancer: upon completing my book, EmbraceEmbarkEvolve; Inspirations, Guidance, and Humor to Help You Fight Through Your Cancer Journey, I gave a copy to a dear friend as a thank you for all of his support. He had left it on his kitchen counter, exactly where his parents found it upon their early arrival to his home. Let's just say it was a long ten minutes for his parents until he arrived home, to convey he did not have cancer!